Planet MegaMall Info help, FAQs and IRAQs (Informal, Rarely Asked Questions)



All the answers.


Do you make what you sell? How can I tell?

Planet MegaMall offers two types of products; those we manufacture or re-sell, and those that are made and/or sold by other companies with which we have an "affiliate" relationship.

(An affiliate is sort of like a commissioned salesperson. We suggest cool or fun things you might like to get, you click on our link to them, order on their site and we get a few pennies from them for the effort.)

Order from us using our PayPal "shopping cart":
  • screenplays
Order via our affiliation with other companies (Amazon, eBay, etc.) using their shopping cart on their site:
  • auctions
  • posters

Are these "real" scripts or transcripts? Do they have an ISBN number?

All the scripts that we sell are copies of authentic, industry-formatted submission or production screenplays. They do not have ISBN numbers.

There are a handful of published scripts in the listings, noted by the word, well, "(published)". A link will take you to Amazon. These scripts do have ISBN numbers.

Are the scripts originals, one-of-a-kind?

No. They are copied from masters onto white 3-hole paper and bound with cardstock covers and brass fasteners ("brads") with washers.

Do you have [name of script]? Will you get it? Can you find it?

Everything we have is listed alphabetically on the website; if it's not listed, we do not have it.

If it's older than 5 years, we probably won't get it.

If it's been released in the last few years, maybe. Check our new scripts page occasionally; new scripts get listed the day we have them available.

If it's an upcoming movie or TV show, possibly. But we can't sell anything before it comes out, so you'll just have to check the new scripts page.

And sorry, we are not a search service. We already have 18,000 scripts!

If you are very interested in a script we don't have, and think you will still want it in a year, feel free to tell us. Don't get your hopes up, but we'll put it on our Wish List, and let you know if we happen across it (18 months later).

Do you have TV movie scripts? / ...TV miniseries? / ...autographed screenplays? / ...foreign-language scripts? / ...British TV series?

Yes, we carry TV Movie scripts; they are listed among the movie scripts with the notation "(TVM)". Because they are feature-length, their price and shipping are the same as for a movie script.

Multi-episode TV scripts are considered miniseries; we don't list miniseries scripts, but we can special order nearly 100 of them. Email if you are interested.

We do not carry autographed screenplays.
Unless you want one of mine! I've listed my spec (speculative sample) sitcom scripts that received some "Industry" attention (awards, meetings, staff near-misses). And hey, if I become famous, you can say you got my autograph when I was hawking other people's blood, sweat and tears!
Foreign-language scripts? No. Nein. Nyet. Klak'tagg!

British? Sorry, mate.

Do you have a catalog?

Too expensive these days. Everything we have is listed on the website.

I have some scripts that aren't listed, do you trade?

Generally, no. But you can always email us; if you happen to have something we've been asked about, it could happen.

Can I download a script? Can you email me a screenplay in a .pdf?

Noooo. That's too close to file stealing -- err... file-sharing.

PayPal's form may have a shipping preference button that says, "No shipping required (online download)", but that is only relevant for companies that offer things like downloadable software, not scripts from Planet MegaMall.

Can you check to see if this character says... /...if this happens?

I'm sorry, but you must be joking. Fifteen thousand scripts, my friend, and I haven't read them all.

Here's the deal: Professional screenplays sometimes go through a dozen or more drafts from first submission to purchase to production, and even then can be rewritten or improvised on the set.

Most of what we carry are pretty close to the movie or TV show, but we just can't guarantee it will include your favorite scene or monologue.

We will try to note if a script is an early draft.

What is a "continuity script"? / What does "[name] draft" mean? / What is a "spec" script?

A continuity script is a post-production document that lists each and every angle of every scene, and an exact transcription of the dialogue, in the movie you saw. They are formatted in 2 columns (visuals and audio) and are thus more difficult to read and not an example of correct submission format.

When we have "[name] draft" after a title, the script is a (possibly unproduced) version by the named screenwriter. (An example of the "numerous drafts" concept mentioned above. Check out this title page.)

"Spec" is short for "speculatory" or "on speculation"; it is an unproduced script that was not written at the request of a producer or executive.

Will you sell my script?

Has it been made into a film? Was that film projected in hundreds of movie theaters across the country?

Can we perform a script and charge money?

All scripts are for personal or educational use only -- no rights are given or implied.

You would have to contact the producer(s) and/or owner(s) of the script.

No, we cannot help you find that information. Try the Internet Movie Database and Directory Assistance.

Some of the scripts I received are double-sided, some aren't.

Since the beginning of time, scripts have been printed on only one side of a page. This allowed studio script readers and production crew members to make notes on the blank side.

But because of the sheer volume of paperwork involved in making a movie, the industry is ever-so-slowly starting to conserve resources, and some people have begun printing on both sides. We do it so that the script weighs less.

And, of course, all of our scripts are in correct, professional, "industry" format.

My script is missing a page.

Yeah, that happens occasionally. With all the revisions (mentioned above), each time various numbers of pages replaced by a lowly PA, and numerous generations of copying, it's actually quite common.

We try to note if a script is missing a page, esp. more than one. Please let us know if your script is missing pages; while we can't find them for you, you will help others make an informed purchase.

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How do I order? / I can't click on a screenplay title.

Click on the appropriate link at the top of the green menu to the right or at the very bottom of the listings.

Our Screenplay Order Panel will come up. The button for standard (regularly-priced) scripts will be on top, with buttons for longer, higher-priced scripts below it.

Enter the title of the script you want in the appropriate box and click the "Add to Cart" button.

If a script title does not have a price next to it in the listings, it is a standard script (95% of titles).

If a script is longer than normal, and thus higher-priced, it will be noted after the title, and you must use the correct button in the Screenplay Order Panel to add it to your cart.

Finally, if you know the correct pricing and shipping & handling and have a PayPal account, you can always just go to PayPal, Log In, Send Money and note or email us what it was for. (Pricing and shipping info for scripts is on the front screenplays page.)

There's nothing in my shopping cart.

You have not ordered anything that Planet MegaMall makes or sells directly, like a screenplay or an item from our "garage sale" page.

If you are trying to order something else, you need to click on our link and then the "Add to Cart" button at the affiliate site.

I tried to add something to my shopping cart and I got sent to Amazon.

Yes, you are trying to order "affiliate" items, which you add to their shopping cart. Look for the "Add to Cart" button there.

How do I pay for my order? Do you accept [payment method]?

Our primary method of payment is PayPal, the world's largest online payment service. They accept Visa, MasterCard, American Express, Discover and what they call "eCheck", which is a debit of your checking account.

We also accept business & personal checks and money orders by mail.

All payments must be in U.S. funds (dollars, US$, USD... greenbacks, Benjamins, simoleans...)

(No, do not send us simoleans.)

I don't want to give my credit card information over the Internet. Can I order by phone?

I understand your concern, but we are online and mail-order only.

You're going to have to give your credit card info to someone, and the online system we use has the same level of encryption as your bank or investment company.

Also, it's important to remember that you are not liable for any fraud committed with your credit card (as Visa/MasterCard has promoted in their commercials.) If you are unsure, call your credit card company or bank and ask.

Can I order by mail / "snail-mail" / post?

If you must - email us for instructions.

Did you get my order?

Upon successful completion of an online order, you will be returned to a "Thank You" page at Planet MegaMall (with a picture of our mascot, Rusty.) Also, you will receive a confirmation email from PayPal with your order particulars.

If you do not receive a confirmation email from PayPal within an hour, please let us know.

Other than that, we will not specifically acknowledge your order. If you got PayPal's confirmation, we got your order.

I forgot to include something in my order, can you just add it and charge my card?

Sorry, your bank information goes through PayPal and we don't see it.

If you want to add to your order, you will need to send the additional cost to us via PayPal:
  1. Go to
  2. Log In
  3. Click on Send Money
  4. Send the amount to:
We will recognize your name and recent order, and add the new info.

I forgot to tell you something. / Wait, I made a mistake!

No worries, mate. Just email us the new info and your name; we'll figure it out.

I personally check every order; if something looks wonky ("Did McGillicuddy really want 22 copies of 'Stroker Ace'?"), we'll email you.

Can I cancel my order?

Of course. Obviously, we need to know as soon as possible (like, within two days) so we don't end up with extra product sitting around.

Do you accept international orders?


But because we use the online payment system PayPal, you must live in one of these countries. (click to see list)

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Shipping, Postage and Handling

How much is shipping?

Your total shipping cost varies by item, and is composed of 2 parts: shipping (actually, postage) and handling.

Postage for books and other affiliate items will be listed on the product page at the affiliate site (Amazon, etc.).

Shipping/postage for movie scripts is $2 each, for TV scripts $1 each (Canada $3/$2, International $8/$6.)

Some longer scripts cost more to ship (about a buck for each 40 pp. above 120.) They are noted in the listings.

In addition, all script orders will have a handling charge ($5 US destination, $6 Canada, $9 International.) Consider it for packaging, labels, tape and labor.

How do you ship?

Most orders are shipped by U.S. Postal Service (USA! USA!) Very large orders may be shipped UPS or FedEx.

How long will it take to get my stuff?

Orders go into a queue (dated listing) depending on when payment was completed.

Fulfillment takes 3-9 calendar days, USPS Priority Mail generally takes 2-5 business days (1-2 weeks International Air Mail.) So, you get your stuff in 1 to 2 weeks (2-4 weeks outside North America.)

Do you do "rush" orders? / I GOTTA HAVE THIS ASAP!!

Sorry, everything goes into the queue. No budgies.

Please do not beg us to ship in time for your class / project / spec submission / insatiable need to read that episode of Hee Haw. It just won't get prioritized over other orders.

We cannot guarantee any delivery period, but virtually everything gets to you within 2 weeks (one month International.)

Have you shipped my order yet?


No kidding, virtually every time we get asked this question, it just went out.

Seriously, a business associate of mine with his own store never answers this question for 2 days, because it always shows up right after the customer asks!

I've received other orders from you in less than a week, and now it's been 12 days.

Sunspots. Carpal tunnel. Insatiable need to watch Green Acres.

Okay, we get scripts from several different sources. If it's on the shelf behind me here, a week. If I gotta go to another company to get that weird old "classic" you want and their copier is down and I forgot to go get it that one day... two weeks.

If it's been more than two weeks, please email us.

Under no circumstances will we reship a U.S. order after 6 weeks.

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What is PayPal? Are they secure?

PayPal is the largest online payment service in the world, with over 100's of millions of members in over 100 countries.

You give them your financial information, and they pay us. We do not see your credit card info.

Your order goes through computers encrypted to the same level as your bank or broker, and your account with PayPal is insured.

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Customer Service

Do you have a phone number?

Sorry, no. Ninety-nine percent of the questions we get are answered right here, but if you have something new to quiz us about, just email.

What is your customer service email?

Address your email to:

The product isn't what I wanted. Can I return it?

Yes, but contact us first if you have any questions or concerns about your product. Unauthorized returns may bounce back to you.

Pleeease be sure that you are ordering correctly. We accept no responsibility for any particular item's usefulness to you, or if you thought that "The Bodyguard" was "My Bodyguard".

Obviously, if we have shipped the wrong item, we will correct the situation, but because of the ease of duplication, movie and TV script sales are final.

Problems with posters need to be handled through the associated company from which you actually ordered (i.e.

We will always strive to keep you a satisfied customer.

Can I tell others about your store?

Tell others to spend money at my store? Oh, I suppose, if you must.

We are proud of our customer service, and friends tell friends about fun stuff they've bought. If you know a movie or TV fan, a pop culture addict or a budding filmmaker, tell 'em all about us. Link to us. Spray-paint "" on an overpass.*

We're just here to brighten yer day.

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Planet MegaMall: The Store

What is Planet MegaMall? Who owns/runs it?

Planet MegaMall is a California (USA) company that sells interesting "pop culture" products.

It is owned and maintained by me, Kristian Idol.

Although "Kristian Idol" is a pseudonym ("attempt to look cool") used to protect my privacy, my real name is listed on all business and legal documents.

How long have you been in business?

Insulting customers since 1999. The owner, Kristian Idol, has published a website since 1996.

Do you have a storefront that I can visit?

Sorry, we are online and mail-order only.

What is your privacy policy? Will my information ever be sold to a third party?

We must have certain information of yours in order to transact commerce ("sell you stuff"). This will include your name, address, email address, and what you ordered.

Most customers buy using PayPal, from whom we receive no banking information. If you have questions about their security, there is a separate PayPal section above.

If you pay by check, we will store your bank info until we are assured that your funds are sufficient.

Planet MegaMall does not track your movements on our site. I do a little analysis of server logs - where people came to my site from - but Go Daddy's logs do not specify exactly who went where or what was typed into search boxes, for example. And quite frankly, I don't care (as long as you have enough in your checking account to cover your check!)

Your personal information will NEVER be sold to anyone else.

I despise junk email "spam" and what it does to our Internet experience. I will never contribute to cramming your Inbox full of garbage just to make a few more pennies.

I might occasionally let you know if we get something you once asked about, or if we obtain more scripts of a TV show you once ordered, for example.

Oh, I will email my entire database when I finally finish my short film!

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Planet MegaMall: The Website

What is your web address?

Planet MegaMall is located at

Bookmark us now by control-clicking or right-clicking this link:

    Planet MegaMall - Scripts and other Hot Popped Culture

I can't access a certain page.

You may be looking for an outdated page. Start over at our front page or email us about what you were looking for.

There's a mistake on your website.

Please let us know if something doesn't display right on your system. I don't pay a proofreader $10,000 to twiddle his thumbs.

I said, I don't pay a proofreader...

How do I find this help page next time?

We have a link marked "Information" at the upper right of every page and at the bottom of every navigation menu. Its URL is:

Bookmark it if you like:  Planet MegaMall - Help

I'm a database programmer and I want to help you out for no pay.

Okay, so we've never been asked this question, but we gotta try...

I could use a database programmer to help us integrate with PayPal; all we need is to make the script listings clickable to add to PayPal's cart, so customers don't have to enter the titles themselves.

I can do the 18,000 database records myself, I just don't know Javascript and/or MySQL, so if you know the onClicks & calls & APIs and you'd like a prominent credit or some free scripts -- email us. I KISS YOU!!!

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Sometimes you seem a little sarcastic.

Really? And to think I was gonna call this page "FAQ U."

Well, that's what happens when "bitter and jaded" meets "20 years in retail", I guess.

Don't take nothin' personal, just makin' myself giggle.

Your grammar is atrocious, young man.

All part of a master plan. Obviously, I can't let my stunningly high brainpower confuse and annoy my patrons ("cash flow"), so I dumb it down so's the common folk can relate, capish? Yo, dude! EXTREME!!!

I'm sorry, what was the question?

What is the meaning of life, Kris?

Beats me. Spicy chicken fried rice, ice-cold water and thou?

No wait. "Be good." Be respectful of others' opinions; maybe you should change yours. Never, ever force anyone to do or believe something, ever.

Phew, heavy. Back to that food thing.

I heard that you're some kind of director or something.

So I claim.

Yes, until I become internationally famous, universally beloved, and Mr. Hewitt-Chabert-Alba-Olsen-Olsen-Olsen, I tap away on this here computin' machine, hawking trinkets and answering questions like, "Do you have any CSI scripts?"

("You mean, besides the 47 we have listed under 'C' ??")

You can read about my short film, if ya wants.

Did you kill a man in Reno just to watch him die?

No, I did not kill a man in Reno just to watch him die.

This guy might've, tho'. (Canada, International)

What do you look like? Do you have a girlfriend?

Like Tom Cruise only less pretty.

(Uh, that's the answer to the first question...)

Okay, more like John Malkovich with a long hair and a beard. A young Doc Brown.

That guy on COPS with the food-stained white t-shirt that the lady in the trailer doorway with the ciggie hangin' outta her mouth is pointing at?

"I wish all those people who say I'm an angry loner
would just shut up and stay the hell away from me."

(Tom Stoudt)

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