Legal Disclaimer

Planet MegaMall, its officers, agents, employees, successors, vendors, suppliers, associates, friends, family and mascot, and their respective officers, agents, employees, successors, vendors, suppliers, associates, friends, family and mascots, ad infinitum, are not responsible for the actions of any and all possible readers and/or viewers of this website, nationally, globally or residing in whatever future colonization, human, alien or unknown, throughout the universe, known, unknown or alternative ("bizarro"), and the ramifications hitherto and thereof using the product colloquially known as "spray paint".

By reading these words, you indemnify Planet MegaMall and all the aforementioned associated lifeforms or machines working in their stead, from any and all legal actions, anywhere, any time, in perpetuity, incredulity, in cruddy Yule tea, absolutily.

If you are watching a parade, whether standing on the street, sitting in angled, folding, metal benches ("bleachers") or walking along, in the direction of the parade or against its movement, and there is a person standing on a float, whether the float itself is moving or stationary, or includes moving float-type elements such as a giant paper-maché hand, whether or not that hand is ostensibly utilizing an attendant paper maché can of spray paint, and the aforementioned person is moving their own (human) upraised hand in a twisting motion while facing the general direction of one or more parade-watchers (human or animal), that person could be called a "waver".

    A. For best results, use the Planet MegaMall website with your hands once a day for relief. At your own discretion, you may use the Planet MegaMall website less often ("flake"), or more often ("sycophant"), but it should always involve your hands and attendant phalanges ("fingers"), and rarely involve spray paint. Using the Planet MegaMall website as often as possible, wherein the term "using" includes actually ordering products and paying for them, will endear you to its owner to the point of him really, truly, honestly considering you a close, personal friend ("paying customer").
    B. Being, or more accurately, believing to be, a close, personal friend of the owner of Planet MegaMall, even if that apparent friendship involves the repeated giving of currency to said owner, does not constitute an agreement, explicit or implied, to bail you out of jail after being charged with vandalism ("tagging").

    A. Do not spray-paint graffiti during a fire, flood, earthquake or public disaster; strike, labor dispute or unrest; embargo, riot, war, insurrection, civil unrest, or in or near Bush Republican fascist-controlled locations ("free speech zones").
    B. When you try, in the name of your personal religious beliefs, whether those beliefs are in agreement with 51% of your country's population or not, to force someone to do something they don't want to do, you are in for a majeure fucking problem.
    C. Do not use foreign terms if you do not understand them.
    D. Do not invade foreign countries if you do not understand them.

If any part of this nearly almost legal agreement is edited, removed, lost, misplaced, shuffled, twisted, macarena-ed, macaronied, folded, spindled or mutilated, the remaining words and legal-type stuff remain in effect.

Do not do the crime if you cannot do the time.

    A. I fought The Law once. The Law won. Friggin' airport parking cop.
    B. I fought The Law another time, and I was given a warning. I got the taillight fixed, had the CHP sign off on it, and then got charged $606 because I "hadn't proved to the court" that I appeared. So now I worry about getting stopped by a Los Angeles police officer for not signaling a turn, while waiting to get a court date to show that I got an officer's signature three months ago, which luckily I just happened to keep because I'm a little anal-retentive that way. Friggin' bureaucratic legal paperwork.
    C. I fought The Law a third time -- okay, it was ExxonMobil, but they were just as cold-hearted and well, "wrong", as The Law was the previous two times -- and I won. Some lowly Mobil Oil Corporation data-entry peon far, far away mis-entered my check for $130 as $13. It took me, I kid you not, over a year of numerous phone calls, two check copies from the bank ("not readable enough"), a four-page letter with CSR names and a timeline, and two conference calls with an officer of my bank and two different ExxonMobil Customer Service Managers, all the while their $117 clerical error ballooning up to $224 with interest and late fees (remember, I owed them zero dollars), causing repeated 8:00 a.m. collection phone calls to my home from people with Indian accents, before it just got fixed a couple weeks ago. I don't think there is a credit card company in the world that won't reverse a single, simple disputed charge for a 20-year, R1-rated customer immediately on the phone. They took OVER A YEAR. Screw you, ExxonMobil. Go to hell.

Don't spray-paint "" on an overpass, Einstein.