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A Million Little Pieces book cover A Million Little PR Nightmares.

Ha ha. Oprah's book pick bites her on the ass. I'm just hopin' for a million little affiliate payments.

Surely you've heard of this bozo by now. He wrote this book about his harrowing, drug- and alcohol-fueled life dotted with crime sprees and jail.

But he climbed out of the vomit- and blood-encrusted cesspool and cleaned up real good. By himself. Without 12 steps. Sheer force of will. And wrote about it, appeared all fresh-faced and upbeat on Oprah, became a millionaire.

Except it's not true. The Smoking Gun debunked huge portions of the book.

Now, you could say that the message outweighs the messenger, but here's what chaps my ass:

One, he couldn't sell this book as fiction. Seventeen publishing houses turned it down ("unbelievable", "too melodramatic".)

So he lies, swears it's all true, goes on television, and now he's a millionaire. For essentially telling addicts that if they just "buck up", they can break their habit.

But worse than that, one of the events TSG disproved involved the death of two high school girls. Frey inserted himself into the story, claiming he was friends with one of them, hanging out with her a few hours before she died tragically. Except her mother's never heard of him and discredits his timeline.

So quick, buy the book while it's still got the Oprah Book Club sticker on it, before they put in the author's mea culpa ("my bad"), and support a real writer like me.

"Recovered drug addict." He's a slimeball. I hope he freys in Hell. Hey Jim! Want some freys with that?

Ha! I got a million of 'em.

Willpower's Not Enough
The Addictive Personality: Understanding... Compulsive Behavior
7 Tools to Beat Addiction

Here we go, now this one is true. 'Cause it's about cell phones that turn people into zombies.

I see that every day on the 405.

King's latest is gore-iffic. It's gore-tastic. It's a gore-a-palooza.

They say it's his best in years.

"I wonder who wrote Henry Ford's autobiography?"
(Walter Means)


Freakonomics : A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
I got a C in Economics. I mighta gotten a C+ if the foreign-born, ESL professor didn't pronounce words with the wrong intonation ("EConomy", "eCONomical"). Cripes, the concepts are hard enough to understand when pronounced correctly!

But this book is more like my cool Astronomy professor, the one that jumped up on the counter to explain an excited electron shell.

You'll learn how the dropping crime rate is related to Roe v. Wade, and how drug dealing is run like McDonald's. It's freaky fun, I'm tellin' ya.

Marley & Me: Life and Love with the World's Worst Dog
I gotta recommend a book with the "dog-hears-whistle" picture on the front.

It's also true life, about a man and his wife living with a big ol' Labrador, and what happens when baby makes four.

(Here's pictures of The Planet's mascot, Rusty.)

The Da Vinci Code
Mom got it for me for Christmas. Quick, get it right now, so you can stand in line at the movie and say, "Gee, I hope it's as good as the book!"

("Which I bought from Planet MegaMall dot com!")

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